On Fox and Fools

The following is my second column for the Daily Illini, which can be found at the following location:

http://www.dailyillini.com/blogs/different-perspectives/2010/01/19/fame-seeking-palin-fox-news-create-match-made-in-heaven

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It was announced last week that Sarah Palin would be joining Fox News as a contributor. The former sports reporter and current Facebook celebrity has been unemployed since she quit the state’s governorship eighteen months before her first term ended, citing ethics complaints and her general ineptitude.

I can’t say that I’m surprised by the move. It seems as though Sarah Palin developed a thirst for fame and fortune during the presidential campaign. A thirst that could not be quenched by the mediocrity of her little hometown of Wasilla, a place where she couldn’t splurge $150,000 on a nice outfit – or twelve – when the mood struck.

Speculation has been rife about her reason for joining Fox News. Some say it was because the Wasilla Burger King wasn’t hiring, while others suggest she thought she was auditioning for the next season of American Idol.

Whatever the case, her time at Fox will be limited. Her contract runs for two years, so I suppose we can expect her to quit by mid-October.

The news of Palin’s contract with Fox has sent the media into a frenzy. Those at Media Matters point out that the partnership of the two intellectual pygmies should tear to shreds any remaining argument that the news channel is “fair and balanced.” But then Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC remind us that it has been a long time since anyone thought of Fox News as neutral, anyway.

I can only imagine how current Fox News personalities are coping with the news. Chances are Greta Van Susteren is working hard to wipe off that creepy leer that transforms her face at the slightest mention of the former governor. Bill O’Reilly must be feeling intimidated by the woman whose book has far outsold both of his own. Sean Hannity is probably hoping to see more of the vast amount of winkage Palin put on show during the VP debate. And then there is Glenn Beck, who is too busy trying to expose the federal government’s communist art schemes to realize that, next to Palin, he may finally seem somewhat coherent.

Whether Palin will be a good fit for Fox News remains to be seen. The two do seem to be a match made in heaven. Both have shown a casual disregard for the facts. Both are skilled at playing the victim and using their ignorance as evidence for their authenticity. And both seem unable to grasp simple concepts like evolution, climate change, and the difference between a “continent” and a “country.”

Yes, it seems like Palin will fit right in at Fox News.

Still, some have worried that stardom would change their beloved hockey mom. But Palin has found her own way to reassure her fans that she will always be their cloddish little maverick.

She has done so through her continued and remarkable mangling of the English language, not to mention other gaffes to gotcha questions from Glenn Beck like, “Who is your favorite Founding Father?”

In truth, I’m actually glad Palin has agreed to join Fox News. We all could do with a few laughs every now and then. Perhaps her meandering commentary will finally convince other conservatives that she is out of depth in a shallow pool.

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